As I sit at my laptop with the AC blasting, hiding from the 108º heatwave... I can't help but crave that breezy transitional period when summer begins to drift away into the coolness of autumn. There's a comfort in knowing that a new season is close—and that we get to start all over again. But for now, we wait.
I am a spring and fall girl. The other two months are just extensions of my favorites, and I always find myself towards the end of them, ready to bid adieu!
It's been an odd summer for me. We finally got around to squaring away childcare for Grace and having time for myself and work again. With more freedom and flexibility in my weekly agenda, I found myself floundering a bit. Initially I thought it was because so much time had passed since I had some structure in my routine and I lost the hang of my creative process. But the more I let the discomfort of not knowing what to do with myself soak in, I realized it's more complex than that.
I have changed so much in this past year or so since becoming a mom. Since moving to the suburbs. And for all the changes my body and mind have gone through, it's altered me from the inside out. At first this really terrified me. Leading up to getting pregnant, I had never felt more confident in myself and work. I felt so dialed into my craft, who I was, and what I wanted. But once you become a mother—a lot really does change, like priorities and perspective. Things you might have cared about before, could mean very little to you now.
One thing that is wonderful about getting older, is how with time, you continue to get to know yourself so much better. I know that when I am in these moments of question (or my *magic dark*), that something better is coming along. I mastered the previous version of self, and so it's time for me to unlock the next level.
I am looking at my life and my work through a whole new lens. Ready to rediscover what makes me light up, to adjust or edit out anything in my life and process that isn't serving me anymore. Just like the slow transition from summer to fall, I will be patient and will very much look forward to seeing what this new season of life has up its sleeves for me.