EST. 2011
Attention to detail, the theme of my life right now—especially with our renovation unfolding next month. My eyes are working overtime—laser focused on every last detail. Truthfully, this is kind of always the case with me, but I am currently relishing in the task.
A little fashionably late to this month’s note… but I am happy to be at my keyboard! I’m sitting outside in beautiful 75º weather, feeling grateful for the nice breeze and sunshine. It has been *a couple weeks* of rollercoaster and I have been neglecting my blog a bit in turn. Parenthood is a ride. I’m realizing that there’s just always something that comes up! Learning to let go and lean into the occasional chaos of it all is the MO. I saw this quote recently that stuck with me—happiness is letting every situation be as it is, rather than what you think it should be. Aka throw expectations out the door, they’re no good here! Things have settled down a bit at home and Scout gets his stitches out tomorrow. So so grateful he’s okay! We are on the up and up.
I’m feeling so joyful lately as we take steps towards our mid-August renovation! I have dreamed of designing my own kitchen for ages—it’s so surreal that the time has come. It’s going to be the most striking before and after—let me tell you—and our little haven. One exciting update for you—is that I am teaming up with The Expert. I have a very clear vision on what we want—however, there are a couple of gray areas that I’ve thought about asking a design-savvy professional for help with. Ie. we are doing a vaulted ceiling in the kitchen area, and I want to ensure that transition from the ceiling to the built-in cabinet fridge is seamless. Little things like this will be so helpful. And of course, helping me to source a few unique items as well! It will be so nice to bounce ideas and to help me bring to life our dream space—so fortuitous that they reached out. More to come!
I also wanted to share a little revelation that I had recently. I was speaking with my creative business coach—who I’ve already mentioned, has helped me *so much in just the few sessions we’ve had so far. It’s been the best investment. I really needed to get to the bottom of some blocks and limitations I adopted amidst pandemic life and just those few years of massive change and madness.
So, the most recent call we had, we started talking about how I was feeling a bit stuck and stagnant. In earlier calls, I had opened up about how I have been blogging since I was 15 and how it all started. 1) I was a bit lonely (we moved a lot and I didn’t have great friends around me) 2) I tapped into the fact I was a creative being early on and so curiosities led me to save, clip, document all the beautiful things I came across in life 3) I needed an escape from reality… my parent had me really young and weren’t very happy in their marriage. I viewed my then-blog as a way to distract myself from my discontent and create a dream world of my own. A few blogs later, I moved to SF and was starting fresh. I had been waiting a long time for this moment.
My twenties were all about my new city lifestyle—creating rituals, making my apt feel like home, and discovering myself, interests, and who I wanted to be. I documented my muses, discoveries, and learnings on my blog and it led me to cultivating such an incredible online community. I’ve always felt close and connected with my readers, which is such a gift. Later down the road, after I shared that I was pregnant (around the time that the world and social media felt hostile), I felt this urge to close my door a bit. I wanted to protect myself through that season of life. At the time, I turned off my story DM replies. I stopped responding as much. I needed to take a step back. One thing I have learned about my blog going from a lifelong hobby to my job, is that I have to have these little check ins with myself. To make sure that I nurture this outlet—and try my best to remove any pressure where I can. So in the moment, I decided that content would revolve around what was going on in my life and what I wanted to share. Less led by what I thought you would want to see and more about keeping things as authentic as possible by doing me.
On my call with Jill—she gasped when we were sorting through all of these things and thoughts. I won’t go into this, as it’ll become a tangent, but we speak a lot about my human design and so she had a realization that aligns with my true nature and purpose (I’m a generator if you’re into this stuff and curious!). She said—you looked to your blog when you were young to envision the life that you wanted for yourself. In your twenties, it became a way to actualize that life. And then you built a community who trusts you and were inspired to follow along with your life endeavors. And the reason you are feeling stagnant right now, is because your blog has given you everything you’ve ever wanted and needed from it. It’s been your guide to yourself and to create the dream life you hoped for. And now it’s your time to focus on others.
You guys, this shook me. It’s so true! I did not see that coming but it makes the utmost sense! I am so excited to *finally* break through the very last block and to feel such clarity, ease, and am just so thrilled to have this new perspective. I want to help my community. I adore you all for your support and kindness over the years as I navigated through life and discovering myself. And I have reached a point that I prayed so hard for when I was young. And that is good enough for me. It excites me so much to think of it this way and to share anything and everything I can to help you all elevate your life!
Happy July, all. And thank you, as always, for reading and for being here. Onward and upward always x
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